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how to cure emo - a guide by juicy boy

1K views 12 replies 4 participants last post by  InsertDeadMemeHere 
#1 ·
okay, so you got the emo. symptoms include

dyed black hair (natural hair is cool though)
black eyeliner
unnecessary piercings that you will probably get rid of in the future (mostly like lip piercings or ear piercings)
listening to metal core a lot (i mean it's fine if you like the genre, but if you're overdoing it then holy shifty lifty tifty too)
idolize gerard way (mainly for girls)

so it's curing time

go somewhere with a lot of space
pull out a vinyl of any album (it's advised you use one that doesn't work anymore, don't waste vinyl records)
get a hammer (optional)
draw a large circle and put the vinyl disc in the middle
say 3 times "will you still need me, will you still feed me, when i'm 64"
pull out a record player
play sergeant peppers and skip to when i'm 64 (this will cheer you up to the point of doing the next act)
skip around the vinyl
go down and destroy the vinyl (or if you don't want to, use your hammer and hit the circle [not the vinyl] in 4 different directions)

once you have done this correctly, look in the mirror. emo should be gone. if not, do these additional steps

go to any alternative rock concert (except weezer, you better listen then)
put on noise cancelling headphones
listen to any anti-emo (classic rock, glam, country)
see results
side effects may include someone that's into you asking you to the green day concert, and you instinctively saying you've never heard of them (how cool is that)

if it still doesn't work, press the undo button on everything and go back to emo. you are incurable.
 
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